Underpowered Howard: A LitRPG Adventure by John L. Monk

Author:John L. Monk [Monk, John L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Aethon Books
Published: 2021-02-01T16:00:00+00:00

I’d never been a fan of such overlays, preferring a natural “realistic” view uncluttered with numbers, words, and boxes. After a quick review, I dismissed it. I could always reenable it if needed.

To Felix, I said, “What now?”

Whatever he might have said died on his lips at a sudden commotion among the crew.

“Make way for Captain Richards!” one of them yelled.

“Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!” the rest of the crew shouted—though loudest from the red-coated marines, each of whom carried crossbows … which I noticed were armed and cocked.

There did seem to be a hundred crew members on board—in the rigging looking down, clustered on the various decks to watch our arrival, and of course all around us. The nearest ones parted and admitted a tall, frowning man with a big, British-looking captain’s hat worn front to back. His blue jacket was impeccably clean, festooned with ribbons and medals. Clean-shaven, he had iron-gray eyes and projected an air of barely controlled outrage.

“Mister Spootlick,” the captain said in a baritone that carried clearly. “Who are these waisters loitering about, and pray tell why they are not making industrious use of the ship’s holystones? Do we not scrub the decks twice a day? Do we not pump our bilge every third glass? Have we stopped oiling the spars, lest they crack in a stiff breeze?”

“No, sir,” Spootlick said. “I mean yes, we still do those things, sir, but if you’ll allow me to—”

“And do we not polish the brass chasers? Paint that which needs painting? I say—are we not, if anything, a happy, industrious, intrepid ship?”

Spootlick doffed his cap in a sign of reverence. “Why, of course we is, sir, but—”

“And has it ever been customary for one so decorated and storied as me to abandon the quarterdeck to do everyone’s jobs for them? Is that my place in the vast constellation of our water-bound universe?”

“No, sir, but as I was trying to say—”

“So we do, in fact, have men who handle such things, yes? Able-bodied sailors and swabbies of every sort? What would happen if I were to suddenly get knocked on the head? If I fell over and was eaten by a shark, who would take my place?”

From the back of the crowd, a voice shouted, “Sharks got better taste!”

“Who said that?” the captain roared, twisting around to find the culprit.

Shaking his head at the interruption, Spootlick said, “Captain, please… Like’n I was trying to say, this lot ain’t swabbies. This ship’s got a new owner, sir, and he’s it.”

At Spootlick’s words, the captain turned a quick one-eighty and smiled. “Oh ho, so you’re Howard. Please forgive me for mistaking you so completely and utterly. I expected someone taller and less … well, silly-looking, I suppose. Still, we’re each of us different in our variegated ways—”

Spootlick said, “That ain’t him, your captainship. The dwarf’s name is Felix. This other one’s Elfie. Ain’t she pretty? Next to him, you’ll find master Howard, sir.”

I nodded. “Pleased to meet you, Richie. I’ll be honest, I’m not that good at ships and sailing and all that.

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